Parenting on Purpose

Every muscle in my body protested. Every inner voice in my being screamed from the recesses within. "Don't do it!" they yelled.   "You will make a fool of yourself!" they taunted. "Why are you so stupid? Why do you want to prove to the whole world how stupid you are?" "You know that you are a colossal failure. Now you want everyone in the world to see what a loser you are?" It was deafening deep within. But I did what I could to ignore the deep shame and hurt that I felt from within. The voices of shame can be deafening even in the presence of an external quietness. "The next event will be the Parents' Race. Will  Mark Lim please proceed to the reporting area?" This was it. There would be no turning back now.  So I dragged myself to the starting line, and mingled with the other homeschool dads who all looked eager to race. "I haven't done any running since I was in National Service," I remark...

We recently went on a holiday to Fraser's Hill, one of the less-visited places in Malaysia. For Sue and I, this is a place that is filled with memories. It was, for her, a childhood oasis, a place where her family would visit year after year, and build many precious memories together. It was, for me, a special place where I visited with a band of dear brothers during our university days, and where we set a stake in the ground, to declare that we wanted to surrender all of our days to the glory of God. It was, for Sue and I, the location of our honeymoon, the place where we enjoyed our first few days of marital bliss; the place where we chiselled our marriage covenant and planned for our future as one.  This is how I remember Fraser's Hill. Shrouded in mist and somewhat mysterious; a grand legacy of days gone by. I remember my first visit there as a single young man, not yet a quarter of a century old, but yet imbued with the desire to be the best father I could be sho...

Pixar's latest animated film Inside Out  has taken the world by storm. The movie, about five tiny emotions that live inside a person's head, has swept box offices across the world with its portrayal of how the human psyche is controlled by the interplay of five emotions, and how these emotions control how people act in the real world. As a counsellor, I was drawn by the interesting premise of the movie; so I took Sue to watch it on her birthday, as part of her getaway day in Johor Bahru, Malaysia. To our horror, the characters started speaking in Cantonese... and there were no subtitles! So that was how we had the most romantic experience of watching our first Cantonese movie together... (For the curious and uninitiated, you can view the Cantonese trailer here . Do also note that the post contains spoilers for those who have yet to watch the movie! ) Official Poster of Inside Out . Photo credits: http://pixartimes.com/ Language notwithstanding, both of us enjoyed the mo...

Dutch crawled up on my lap, “But Mommy, I want you to play with me. One day you’re going to wake up and wonder where all the years have gone. Someday I’ll be too big to play with you. Please?” It's not by chance that I happened to read Kari Patterson's blog post today. It's about a tired Mum who chooses nevertheless to go outdoors with her 8-year-old to watch the clouds. They tickle and laugh, and crawl around like tigers. She learns to watch the clouds, and also watch her son. He is growing up.  My younger son is on the cusp of 2-year-old hood. In our eyes, I think he turned two long ago; just because we know he thinks he's older than that, and behaves that way too. But he's still my baby, and I am a little sad that he'll never be one again.  Special spontaneous outing at the park. Our older boy turns four this week too. I already find it hard to remember how it felt to have him as a baby, a toddler. Now he is a little boy, to be reasone...