Parenting on Purpose

As a parent, I know I have made so many mistakes in my parenting journey. But in the process, I know I have also grown in the way I parent my children. One night, as I was reflecting on how I can be a better parent, I wrote out 10 principles which I believe to be essential towards helping my kids become the persons God intended for them to be: Our two sons modelling for our Sensory Superhero Series. Both boys are such creative individuals who love fun and uninhibited play. Our heart is for them to become the persons God meant for them to be!  1) Recognise that every child is a gift from God. Love them for who they are not what they are. 2) Treasure every moment with them, both big and small. Surprise them with fun experiences and build memories that last a lifetime. 3) Treat every child equally. You may love them in different ways due to their different love languages, but at the end each child must know you love them with all of your heart. 4) Recognise that every c...

I smiled nervously at my 7-year-old son and held my breath, waiting for the answer to my question. The wait was always unnerving; especially since I never had a clue as to what answer he would give. “How can I be a better Daddy?” I had ventured. The little boy looked earnestly at me, and replied in a soft gentle voice, “You could play more games with me.” “Anything else? Is there any other thing I could do to be a better Daddy?” “No, that’s all.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I had gotten off easy this time. I had learnt this approach some years back. The question “How can I be a better Daddy?” provides an insight into how we can affirm our children in a love language they understand. This principle is derived from Gary Chapman’s book,  The 5 Love Languages of Children . Chapman describes the five love languages that we use to communicate, namely Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gift Giving, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Speaking My Child’s Love Language ...

This is the second of a two-part paper that was submitted to the Singapore Bible College as part of the requirements for my Graduate Diploma. It was for the module "An Introduction to Christian Spirituality". Christian Spirituality & Parenting Just as Christian spirituality is an amalgamation of a person’s relationship with God, Christian parenting adopts a similar perspective. A key understanding of parenting stems from our relationship with God the Father. Ephesians 1:3-5 articulates this relationship clearly, indicating that God “chose us in Him before the foundation of the world”, and that in love, He “predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will”. As God adopted us to be His children, it is God who is the perfect model of parenting for us to follow. Matthew 7: 9-11 elaborates, “Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you t...

The little boy let out an earth-shattering wail. "Mummy!" he screamed. But Mummy was nowhere to be found. "I want Mummy!" the almost 3-year-old cried, in a voice that sounded as if there would be no tomorrow.  'E, Mummy's not here. Tell Daddy what you want." "I don't want Daddy. I want Mummy!"  The dialogue carried on for a couple of minutes; although for the Daddy it seemed as though time had stood still and Mummy would never return home from her work. Then the Daddy remembered something that he had learnt from parenting course, and an idea began to form in his exhausted mind. "E, if you don't stop crying, the crocodile will come and get you!" And with that, little E experienced an onslaught from one of the most vicious creatures in the world. His tummy area, especially, was mercilessly attacked by the powerful reptilian that gave no chance for its prey to escape... "No. Daddy, no!" prote...

Commemorative days have always been stressful for me. Birthdays, anniversaries, other special days to celebrate the role of various individuals; and this of course includes Mothers' Day. In the week or two just before Mothers' Day, an unsaid pressure builds up in the mind of the father. This is mostly due to the unmentioned expectation that fathers are supposed to orchestrate how their children celebrate their mother on this special day. Mothers always seem to be the most prepared on Fathers' Day with cards, presents and other surprises,  and a similar expectation is placed on the father.  Another reason why Mothers' Day is so stressful for me is that giving is not one of my preferred love languages. Gary Chapman's book The   Five Love Languages list gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch as the primary ways in which people show love. I am more comfortable with affirming others and spending quality time with them. So when...