Parenting on Purpose

The little boy shrieked at the top of his voice. Glancing around the room, he all but ignored the frustrated man trying in vain to comfort him. His eyes raced furiously to the boxes of toys arrayed around the room; he paused if only to give them a cursory glance, before dashing out of the room. Still in tears, the child wandered from room to room to no avail. Then suddenly he stopped - and sprinted into the waiting arms of a familiar figure - his mother. It has been a difficult couple of weeks. I'm not sure exactly when, but I think it all began not long after our recent trip to Vietnam. My wife and I have pinpointed our Vietnam trip as the time when our son Z's temper tantrums became more frequent and more acute. Upon reflection, I have also ascertained that the period immediately after the trip was the start of Z's "clingy" behaviour. I have been involved in the care of my son since his birth, participating in his night feeds, changing him, bathing him,...

All was quiet on the 2-year-old front. The group of active, squirming toddlers seated in a wobbly circle waited eagerly, each looking forward to his or her turn to put their circular cardboard name tags up on the flannel board which the teacher was holding.  It was a moment of reckoning for Z and me. For the past 3 months in playgroup, my ever-determined son had steadfastly refused to follow the other children's leading to put his cardboard circle on the board. His highly anxious Mummy (i.e. me), eager to please and be a good student in class, had been the one to nervously take the circle from his teacher and put it on the board for him instead, when my little one refused to cooperate after a few awkward minutes of silence and gentle urging from his teachers. I was, truth be told, very exasperated by this time and wondering whether it was because Z did not know how to do this simple task, or he was simply refusing to be told what to do, in the way that t...