Crossings - Convalescing from Covid & Re-calibrating the Cadences of Life

The much-anticipated moment was at hand. The focus of our attention was just metres away from us; and it seemed like that moment would never come. But it did. And so last week we took the final step of getting our passports checked; and we crossed the land bridge between Singapore and Malaysia for the first time in more than two years.

Not a car on the road as we made our first trip to Malaysia in more than two years.

I remember the last time we crossed that bridge. It was 19 March 2020, just one day after Malaysia effected its Movement Control Order in a bid to curb the spread of the deadly Covid-19 virus. Ours was the only car on the road, and the usually crowded crossing was devoid of all traffic. It seemed as if a deathly stillness had descended on the area; and we didn't know then that it would be the last time we would be travelling, for what has seemed to feel like a lifetime away.

So as we embarked on our travels to Malaysia once again, there was a sense of anticipation and hope. Singapore has eased many of the Covid restrictions that have been in place since the first Circuit Breaker rules were implemented in April 2020. For our family this has been symbolic of the hope that the pains of the last two years might soon come to an end. The freedom to travel has been akin to the removal of a bottle cap, with the pressure within the bottle finally able to find some measure of release. Indeed it has been hard to deal with the pressure of the pandemic, and the ability to travel has brought with it some semblance of normalcy.

Our boys love to have fun wherever they go. And a vacation is always an important time for the family to unwind after a difficult season.

This is not the "new normal" terminology that has become prevalent over the past two years. The term has been an attempt to help us come to terms with a world under siege from a global pandemic, an attempt to psychologically cope with the imposed restrictions intended to keep the virus at bay. Yet deep inside, many people still crave the "normalcy" of the past, and while the re-writing of mindsets can help us to manage the grief and loss caused by Covid, there is still an inherent desire to return to pre-Covid days, with all the emotions associated with mental and physical wellbeing.

So for us the trip to Malaysia was simple. We met old friends, ate good food, and went shopping; all aspects of a normal life before the pandemic descended on us. Visiting familiar places brought a certain comfort to us, as we were able to draw from the memories of the past to empower us with positive emotions to provide us solace during this difficult time.

The cost of living in Singapore is so high, and when we travel we are able to have good meals at a fraction of the cost back home. This is an important aspect of surviving in Singapore - taking a trip overseas and getting some financial respite so that life in Singapore doesn't get to you too much.

Regular rhythms of life help us to feel at ease. When there is a certain cadence in the way we live our lives, this provides the stability and the security to help us maintain our mental wellbeing. However, when this cadence is disrupted, our emotions go into a tailspin, and our mental wellbeing takes a hit. We therefore attempt to get into a "new normal" in a bid to regain some semblance of stability. And much of change happens in this manner - resulting in a constant re-calibrating of the cadences in our lives.

We have been masked up for far too long; and we truly need some form of respite to get our mental wellbeing back on track.

But Covid is not merely an ordinary disruption. The impact of the pandemic has been immense, not only in terms of physical health, but also due to the break in the social and economic fabric of life. These are fundamental needs of any person, and what Covid has done was to cause an unnatural distance in social relationships, as well as to result in an economic hiatus. Both of these effects have significantly affected the mental wellbeing of an entire society. That's not normal. What we need is a return to pre-Covid normalcy, especially if one is to avoid any notion of a dystopian future with pandemic restrictions enforced as a "new normal".

So our journey across the bridge, and the resumption of travel in general, has been symbolic of one small step for humankind, and one giant leap for humanity.

Vacation time is time well enjoyed with the family; spending quality time talking about the important life issues that matter.

Comments

Malacca with the Kids: March 2015

Malacca has always been our go-to place for a short getaway. Most of the time, it's been without the kids. We love soaking in the ambience of Jonker Street and strolling by the river. Of course, the food never fails to draw us back to this laidback town with its sleepy atmosphere. The facade of Malacca has, however, changed over the years. Imposing mega malls loom over two-storey shophouses. I would probably have not brought the boys along as the streets are narrow and traffic seemingly never ebbing, but when I googled "Malacca for Kids" this time round, there were quite a few options for the kids to enjoy. Of course, the main reason why we decided to go was because we were attending my dearest cousin's wedding dinner. This brings back memories of how my cousins and I used to hang around at Chinese restaurants. We would be so thrilled to be on an actual stage... And our choice of accommodation was largely influenced by the water play area wh...

Setting Up a Finnish School in the Home

The issue of private tuition has again come to the forefront after a senior education official pronounced in parliament that the Singapore education system is "run on the basis that tuition is not necessary". Ms Indranee Rajah, Senior Minister of State for Education, added that schools provide "comprehensive levelling-up programmes" as well as remedial and supplementary classes to support weaker students. In the days that followed, mainstream and social media agencies were abuzz with reports from parents and students alike, many of whom disagreed with Ms Indranee's assessment of the education scene. They argued that private tuition is already a multi-million dollar industry, and that its very existence disputes notions that tuition is unnecessary. From the perspective of an educator in Singapore, I can understand the comments made by the Senior Minister of State, especially since it is the responsibility of the Education Ministry to teach our school childre...

"Monkeying Around": A Review of My Gym Singapore

Our 2/1/2-year old son E has always been an active child. When he was an infant, E would crawl around and get into all sorts of mischief, until one day when he discovered that he could climb on his poor Daddy, in an inspired moment of pretend play - Daddy was his mountain and he was Sir Edmund Hilary - the first person to scale Mt Everest! It was therefore with great excitement that we we heard that Parenting on Purpose had been invited by My Gym Singapore to participate in a series of four classes. We agreed at once; knowing that our little boy would thoroughly enjoy gym class - this was also a chance for our exuberant toddler to work off his energy and hopefully fall fast asleep after getting home. Our little son having a swing of a time at gym class. My Gym has an interesting educational philosophy that emphasises building self esteem in children. This is an excerpt from the company's website: The philosophy that guides My Gym’s programming and bre...

Schooling for Gold: a Parent Reflects on Singapore's First Olympic Gold Medallist

50.39 seconds. The (less than) one minute of time that made history for the small island nation of Singapore. Millions in Singapore and around the world watched as 21-year-old Joseph Schooling defeated his long-time idol and heavily-decorated Olympian Michael Phelps, the man described as "the most-decorated Olympian of all time". Indeed most of the international news footage had been previously focussed on Phelps, given that the American is expected to retire at this year's Rio Olympics. The New York Times even ran an article with the headline: " Somebody (His Name’s Joseph Schooling) Finally Beats Michael Phelps"! For Joseph Schooling, it could not have been a prouder moment, as he not only bagged Singapore's first and only Olympic Gold, it was also a race that proved he had not only matched, but also beaten his childhood idol. Indeed a 2008 photograph of 13-year-old Schooling standing side by side with Michael Phelps has been spreading like wildfire o...

Hong Kong for Kids: Our Dorsett Wanchai Experience

It was only a few months back when we had our lovely holiday experience in Hong Kong. We had then stayed in the Cosmopolitan Hotel, a lovely place located at the northern tip of Hong Kong island, near the world-famous Ocean Park. Most people have asked us why we chose Hong Kong as a destination for our kids given the island's reputation as more of a food and shopping paradise. We shared with them that there is actually more than meets the eye to this territory known affectionately as the "Pearl of the Orient". The view from Stanley, one of our favourite spots in the beautiful city of Hong Kong. Rooms in Hong Kong are small, and we had a hard time looking for a place to stay that could meet the needs of our two very energetic children. We settled for the Cosmopolitan Hotel, given that it was one of the few hotels that had affordable prices for its Family Quad Room, a large room that could accommodate all four of us comfortably. We were pleasantly surprised when we r...

A Safe Space: Adventures in Fostering

Fostering challenges traditional notions of what a family is and what a family should be. At the end of the day, what is your idea of "family"? The younger child seemed a little troubled during bedtime. "Mummy..." he said. "Yes Darling," replied Mummy. "It will be very sad when R has to go home to the tummy mummy and daddy one day." "Yes, Darling. It will be very sad." "But it's all up to God, right?" "Yes it is. You know that R's tummy mummy and daddy can't take care of any child right now? That's why R is with us." "Yes I know. R is with us just for awhile. Not like Kor Kor and I. The four of us are a forever family." "Yes we are. So how will you feel when R goes back to the tummy mummy and daddy?" "It will be sad, but it will be all right." The older child, who was a silent participant in the conversation, decided to speak at th...

The Father I Will Never Be

We recently went on a holiday to Fraser's Hill, one of the less-visited places in Malaysia. For Sue and I, this is a place that is filled with memories. It was, for her, a childhood oasis, a place where her family would visit year after year, and build many precious memories together. It was, for me, a special place where I visited with a band of dear brothers during our university days, and where we set a stake in the ground, to declare that we wanted to surrender all of our days to the glory of God. It was, for Sue and I, the location of our honeymoon, the place where we enjoyed our first few days of marital bliss; the place where we chiselled our marriage covenant and planned for our future as one. This is how I remember Fraser's Hill. Shrouded in mist and somewhat mysterious; a grand legacy of days gone by. I remember my first visit there as a single young man, not yet a quarter of a century old, but yet imbued with the desire to be the best father I could be sho...

The Insecurities of a Homeschooling Dad

Social media can be very deceiving. We scroll through the news feeds of people we know (or of celebrity bloggers and content experts), and assume that they are living perfect lives. With every holiday photo they post, every food picture presented, or every insightful article they write, we slip into social media envy and assume that our friends are enjoying the time of their lives. And many people assume that of me as well. They seem to think that I am living the dream life with a wonderful job and wonderful kids. And when I meet people at my various engagements, I seem to get the nod that I am the model citizen of social media society. A recent holiday in Disneyland. After long queues under the hot sun, we were quite the "model" family! There is some truth to this. At this moment, I can say that there is no other job I would rather do; to be my own boss and to conduct training workshops for others, sometimes with my wife; what more could a man ask for? And my kids? T...

Parenting Your Child for Marriage

It's not often that the Father of the Bride gets to speak at a wedding. Oftentimes, the only words are in response to the question, "Who presents this woman to be married to this man?" In that instance, it is normally a mild-mannered man, one who shuns the attention of the moment, who barely manages to whisper out the refrain, "I do." A precious photo of a very special couple. This was completely not what happened at a wedding I was at almost three weeks ago. In response to that question, the Father of the Bride seemed to have an entire speech prepared for the Groom, "I present to you the key to my daughter's heart, " he declared. "I have protected her heart all her life until this point, and now I am handing over this responsibility to you." And with a firm voice, he presented this solemn reminder: "Remember that you will not be able to do this on your own, but only with God's help, and by spending time with Him daily....

Of Yellow Ribbons & Fathers for Life - the Legacy of Jason Wong

Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree It's been three long years Do ya still want me If I don't see a ribbon 'round the ole oak tree I'll stay on the bus Forget about us Put the blame on me If I don't see a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree The old folk song Tie A Yellow Ribbon is based on a delightful American story that tells of an ex-convict who returns home to his loved one after serving time in prison. Prior to his release, he had requested for her to tie a yellow ribbon around a tree outside of the town where she lived. And if there was no ribbon there, he would simply go on his way, understanding that she might never forgive him. However, when he passed by the tree, there were 100 yellow ribbons, symbolising that his sweetheart had forgiven him, and that he would be welcomed home. Learning to love and accept one another. The popular Yellow Ribbon Project is based on this premise. Founded in 2004 by Senior Prisons Of...

Parenting on Purpose

Search This Blog