Parenting on Purpose

This month we celebrate our 12th Wedding Anniversary. Marriage has not been easy; but despite the ups and downs, I know that I love my wife deeply, and there are 10 precious principles I have held close to my heart.   A stolen kiss in Helen, Georgia, 2018. Taken by our younger son and aspiring photographer E. After 12 years, I still love my wife deeply and we still go on many adventures together! 1) Listen to her heart. Consider important what she considers to be important. 2) Nourish her soul. Feed her with memories and experiences she will cherish. 3) Allow her to be herself. Do not seek to change her to be someone she is not. 4) Encourage her to pursue self care. Clear her schedule and make it happen. 5) Love is in the small things. Small surprises, gentle touches, little acts of service. Love her in the here and the now. 6) Believe in her. Encourage her to pursue her dreams. Walk with her during moments both happy and sad. 7) Respect her friends and family. Th...

One night, as I lay next to my wife in bed and considered why and how I loved her, I became overcome by a deep sense of love. This was something I had experienced years ago when I was convinced she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was the same feeling I encountered when I looked into her eyes and declared my wedding vows in front of God and a body of witnesses. And it was this deep love from which I drew upon 10 precious principles I have held close to my heart.   Our wedding day. I will always remember that moment when I declared that I would take her to be my lawfully wedding wife from that day forward, to be parted only in death. 1) Listen to her heart. Consider important what she considers to be important. 2) Nourish her soul. Feed her with memories and experiences she will cherish. 3) Allow her to be herself. Do not seek to change her to be someone she is not. 4) Encourage her to pursue self care. Clear her schedule and make it happen. ...

Suppose you go to bed tonight as usual, and while you are asleep a miracle happens, and the problems that you have are solved. But you are asleep and do not know that the miracle has happened; what will be the first small signs when you wake up in the morning that the miracle has happened and that the problem is solved? I am coming to the end of my first year of part-time studies for my Graduate Diploma in Counselling. The past few weeks have been about writing term papers; about transcribing client interviews for analysis and coming up with a personal model of counselling that I could use on myself as a client. It has been hard work. But I feel I have learnt so much; and much of my reflection has been about my own life - how my childhood affects the way I relate to my family, and how it affects the way I relate to my children as their parent. The Lim Family. My counselling studies have made me think of how I relate to my family, and I have been very thankful for their role in...

It has been a really busy couple of weeks since we returned from our trip to Australia. For some reason or another, we have been swept into a whirlwind of activities both for the boys as well as for ourselves. Two days ago Sue and I finally got a short breather as we took time out from our regular routines to sit in for a workshop on Understanding Male and Female Relationships. While this is a topic that is not entirely new for us, we know that we are still a young couple and that there is so much to learn from the numerous experienced couples around us.  One of the key points that struck me was a timely reminder about romance - I posted this as a Facebook update: Romance is the practice of continually creating precious emotional memories for our significant other. It is easy for a marriage to lose its spark if the flames of romance are not ignited on a regular basis. What we have to do is to work hard at keeping the flames burning; not relying on past experiences but to c...