Parenting on Purpose

To say that these past few weeks have been difficult for us is an understatement. We have been embroiled in one tantrum after another; when the 4/1/2-year-old finishes his screaming match, the 2/1/2-year-old begins his own song and dance. And just when Daddy and Mummy think that everything is ok, one brother decides to snatch an item from the other, and the entire process is repeated once again. There seems to have been no respite for us. As I mused earlier this month on Facebook:  The best Valentines' Day gift this year was when my in-laws offered to take the kids overnight today. Much needed respite after a tiring few weeks. Brothers are great to fool around with; but they are can sometimes also be a formidable fighting opponent. There are two options to take when everything seems to go wrong in your parenting. You either choose to give up and outsource the problem to your spouse or childcare centre, or you make the conscious decision of digging in your heels, readi...

A week ago my wife sadly declared, "Dear, we've gotten it all wrong." With a look of dismay and a voice of despondency, she continued, "Nothing we have done seems to have worked and Z continues to bite and to pinch and to throw his temper tantrums." I responded with a sigh, agreeing that our efforts to discipline our son had so far not yielded any visible fruit. "I really don't know what to do as well," I replied. And we both shook our heads. Discipline has been an issue for our almost 20-month-old son, who will soon reach the dangerous age of the "terrible twos." Last month, our family of three took a two-week trip to Vietnam, taking in the northern sights of the capital Hanoi, scenic Halong Bay and mountain retreat Sapa. It was a spectacular trip and we were witnesses to how one of Southeast Asia's oldest countries grapples with issues of tradition and modernity. However, travelling in a developing country with a one-year-old s...

It has been a long couple of weeks since the tantrums started. It all began on a Monday morning three weeks ago, when Mark dropped Z and I off at a nearby library to return some books. It had been an exhausting weekend with my cousin getting married, and family in town from overseas as a result of the wedding. Our son, being pretty much like his parents, does not like crowds, nor does he relish too much attention, which is often the ill-effect of being a cute baby and having hordes of people poking and cooing at you in a large gathering. We were all mostly hung-over from the previous few days, but the library books had to be returned. I was at the borrowing counter, about to scan in my books, when Z got grouchy because I did not want him pressing the buttons on the terminal. Soon, it escalated into a major tantrum, with my son rolling on the carpeted floor of the library next to the "Please Maintain Silence" sign, wailing at the top of his lungs and refusing to be consoled....